A letter to Mum and Dad,
How the hell did I turn 24 with all my limbs and brain still left in my body?
We are yet to learn how, but I have and I wouldn’t have been able to without anything you guys ever do for me.
I know we joke that I’m a right wolly in life, well…actually we joke, but it’s pretty factual, however, if anything last year’s travels taught me it was that I have never been more capable of being in control of myself and being able to implement my wits about arising situations and following my common sense or gut feeling all with responsibility than when I’m travelling solo, because you just have to be smart and switched on, the world is scary and I have felt scared before but, I’ve always stayed true to my instincts and to what I know is the right thing to do.
I know you worry and regardless of what I say and how much I can prove to you how sensible and strong I am as an independent woman, you will always worry, but after many, many years of finding frustration with this, I now only appreciate it whole-heartedly and actually miss it when you don’t worry about me. I’ve realised it’s the only way when you don’t have full control over me to indicate to me you care, you love me and you are there for me and I love you for that every second of the day.
2018 is the year! It’s my year of a completely clean slate and brand-new opportunities, I am going to embrace every single moment I humanly can and I want to thrive in the lifestyle of travelling and culture. I have never felt such a sensation of terrified excitement as I do right now, the more days that count down to the arrival of the 15th the more I’m feeling so exhilarated by the un-planned future that awaits!
Anything is possible and I can do anything with my life.
I had a client the other day who asked me why it was I am so interested and eager to travel, I really did have to ponder for a while as to why, I had no idea where I stemmed this urge to just see everything and be everywhere, until I mentioned you Dad, and how you were part of British Airways crew, then they said, “surely that must be it then! Your dad is a story teller”, and you know what they’re not half wrong.
I always carry with me a collection of stories you have told me from your travels which are little snippets of adventure of the life you have lived which live on in my mind, from the time an airline friend was choking in a steak restaurant to the time mum was potentially left in a room full of drugs as you went and got pissed with the crew, to your friend who was a full of himself, ladies’ man who went home with a lady boy in Thailand and they just stayed up all night “talking”, to your job in Germany in a sausage factory or when you lived in Norway.
I never realised myself how much of an influence you have been for me to want to travel and to be able to tell stories with so much character and charm as you have told.
You both honestly are the most astounding parents we could ever ask for, I know every child may say this as it’s a bias statement, just like how you will always think your children are better looking…of which we are 😉
But I truly mean it with my hand over my heart and with every honest bone in my body, I would be no where without the support, devotion, generosity, equality and fully raw, whole-hearted love and abundance you have always given me and applied into my life and into me developing as an individual.
You do so much for all of us and it always shows and is never gone un-noticed!
You are both always going the extra mile to make sure we are happy and we are sorted in life, but I really want you to both focus on you now, your little bird has flown the rest, the will never, ever mean I don’t need you, it just means, it’s time to focus on what really matters in life for you both and how you can now spend your years enriching life with everything you dreamed of wanting to do and act on after we all left.
I am a complete mix of the two of you, I most certainly have mums charm and social charisma, flirtation, heart, humour and sensitivity, but I also carry a huge factor of Dads courage, brave heart and adventurous soul.
Somewhere lies a little bit of knowledge in my head haha that must be from both of you, but when I was writing this letter in my room, I stopped at this point and just smiled, I am a perfect division of you both which when I realised it, is the best gift I’ve ever been given.
As parent’s you will always be idols to me, but suddenly realising how much I am alike to you is already a huge accomplishment in life, and that’s when I also came to terms with the thought of who I am.
With everything that’s happen last year, I really didn’t feel I was a good person, but, with hind sight in place now, I haven’t been the true me for the past 3 years, I lost myself a little bit and most of all my adventure which is what my heart truly thrives off.
I thought I was selfish, a little bratty and rational, but I’ve always been those things, it didn’t happen because of my break-up and I’m grateful I saw light in that, for if I wasn’t those things I wouldn’t have had the guts to do half the things I have accomplished in life and I wouldn’t be leaving now for almost a year or more to start a new life for myself, and in actual fact I love me for that, I love that even when I thought I loved someone else, that wasn’t enough because it would be sacrificing truthfully what my heart wanted, I went for it with it feeling like the most merciless and stupidest thing I could of done, but in actual fact it’s the best thing I could of done for my heart and soul and for the now, undecided future that begins.
I will always put myself first no matter what, until the right person comes along and wants the same dreams and the same life as me is the only time I will stop being selfish, because I want to live this life exactly how I pictured it, so thank you dad and mum for bringing me up to be so gutsy, and passing down your courage, bravery, dedication and motivation to living life fully.
Please do try and organise to come and meet me out in Melbourne or Sydney! It would be so wonderful to be able to have you there and catch up this year, I promise I will make the time for it, I just can’t organise it yet as I have no idea where or what my situation will be, but once I do come and visit I would love you to!
I love you both with all of my heart and every single cell and atom I’m made of, words and copious amounts of thank you’s will never quite come close at all to justifying just how special and magical you both are with everything you do for me and the other two less attractive and funny children you have.
I will be in touch as often as possible, but just remember the time change is a huge reason why you may not catch me if you call, or I’m out and about… mother it does not mean I’m dead or have driven off a cliff edge, so stop thinking that right now…and besides even if I did (touch would a thousand times) texting me saying are you alive??… will not help because I won’t be able to answer that anyways if that’s the case!!!
Keep me updated with everything that’s going on back here, I want to know all the ins and outs!
Enjoy the peace and quiet and the tidiness!!!
All my love and all of my heart,
Your favourite child